Big Louie’s, Crystal, March 16, 2011

I’d been wanting to make Big Louie’s one of my visits, since I heard of their famous Karaoke nights.  I got a text from my friend Alyssa and I was out and about, so we made plans to meet up there. I know, I know…my blogs are supposed to be about me going to these places alone and what happens when I do, and the last few, I haven’t been alone. I’ll remedy that this week. I promise. I don’t get to hang with Alyssa often, and besides, any friend of mine is always welcome to join me.

Big Louie’s took over the former Jake’s Sports bar space off Broadway in Crystal. I used to go there a lot when I was much younger. They had pool tables downstairs and a Bloody Mary bar on Sunday’s. I think I don’t need to remind you about my affinity for Bloody Mary’s.  But seriously, I don’t think I’ve been there in ten years.

As I walked in, a group of middle-aged, overweight men ogled me and I heard one say, “There’s our winner.” Or, “There’s a winner.” I’m not sure which exactly. If it was, “There’s OUR winner.” then, I’m both flattered and yet disgusted, because, “what the hell were they talking about?” If it was, “There’s A winner.” then I’m not sure if I should feel offended. Was that facetious…a put-down? I’m just too sensitive I guess. I sat across the bar from the middle-aged boys-club and they continued to ogle me, but not one bothered to come over and talk to me. Soon, thank goodness, Alyssa joined me.

I was excited for this Karaoke that I’d heard touted, but according to the bartendress, that only happened on Sunday night. Sunday?! Who goes out for Karaoke on Sundays? Dissapointed!!!

It was dead, and according to the waitress, it was not usually so. She claimed that it was because St. Patrick’s Day was the next night and everyone was saving up their party energy for the wild, night out the next night. That sounds logical, I guess. There were a couple of Miller Highlife promo girls there. They were giving away t-shirts if you bought a Highlife, so I bought one and scored an awesome shirt. Alyssa doesn’t drink beer, so I bought her one, but drank it, so she could have a free t-shirt too. Now we can be twinsies.

After a while, the middle-aged boys-club broke up and left. Alyssa and I both needed to head home, but as we were leaving this guy stopped us and insisted on buying us drinks. I think his name was Matt. He was clearly more interested in Alyssa. As to be expected. She is a beautiful blond with a natural charisma that just attracts people like magnets. It was okay with me that he wasn’t interested in me. He was a nice looking, thirty something guy.  But, he didn’t send sparks flying for me. The problem was he had no game. I initially was impressed that he approached both of us, offered to buy us both drinks and started talking to both of us, but then turned his attention to my friend. That was a genius way to get into a two-woman scene. When he offered us a drink, Alyssa didn’t want one, but I said “SURE!”. Matt told her she had to try a vodka tonic. She said “no”. He ordered one for himself and insisted, “Just try it”. She tried it and said, “No, I don’t care for that.”. Okay…dude got shotdown three times in a row, and Alyssa remained uninterested. She couldn’t have been less open to advances, but he didn’t give up.  At first, it was somewhat amusing to watch a man trying so hard, but getting rejected. And then it just got sad. I got a free drink out of it anyway. The “consolation drink” I guess.

I began to lose my buzz and Matt's lame attempt to woo my friend became tiresome to witness after a little while. Matt went outside to have a smoke, so Alyssa and I attempted to make a dash. He must have been watching us, because he quickly walked back inside and yelled, “Hey, you guys leavin?” How do you respond to that? “No, we just forgot some things in our cars.” Obviously, we were leaving. I just kept walking, but Alyssa was at least polite enough to disengage. I just always feel so gross during that moment when you need to walk away from someone you’re not interested in and they’re trying to make you stay. They try to convince you and you have to make all these excuses as to why you have to go. “I have to get up early”, “I’m really tired”, “I have to wash my hair”.  You know, it’s just kinda sad when someone is making you feel like they’re a piece of gum that you’re trying to scrape off the bottom of your shoe. I usually take the direct route, the route most obvious, which is to walk away.

Wish I could say more about Big Louie’s. I wasn’t there long and there wasn’t much going on. It’s just your average, local watering hole for thirty plus people. Although, in the two-and-a-half hours we were there, I scored a free t-shirt and a free drink. Well, this coming week, I’m going to go it alone, for sure. We’ll see what happens next. Until then, bottoms up.

Cooper and Toby Keith's, West End, St. Louis Park/ Subtitle- Gorillaz in the Midst

Friday, March 11, 2011

Part of the purpose of doing this blog is to write some insights I have while observing humans interacting in social situations. Once, while going through a stressful week, I observed that it seemed like human beings are cruel to each other, as if it’s something they need to do. I almost posted a blog about it and decided to cut it. I didn’t want to lose my readers. An experience I had last night made me think about it again.  

I had one free pass to the movie Battle: Los Angeles, and I’ve never been to a movie alone before, so decided that experience could be an addendum to this blog. I planned to go to Cooper in the West End St. Louis Park and drink alone until the movie started and see what type of people I could meet there. Boots needed a steam blow-off session, so she joined me. Or actually, she was already there when I got there. There was a nice looking older man in my seat when I arrived, but he relinquished the seat for me. You see, there is a MAN, and he knows MAN-NERS. So, I started talking to him and his name was Jeff. He was a product development manager for a tech components company. I told him about my job and I could see his eyes glaze over when he started to realize that what I do is higher-level than he’ll ever reach. Ooops! Did I say too much? Yes, but intentionally. I had read recently that a man will not be interested in a woman who makes more money than him or has a higher-powered job. If he is interested, then it’s not for right reasons; because, it’s emasculating to a man if his woman wears the pants. In fact, men who make less than their significant others are more likely to cheat. Jeff lost interest, needless to say. Sorry, Jeff. Perhaps that was mean of me to use you as a Guinea pig to prove a point.

I would be remiss if I didn’t mention the bar and what was going on there. I’ve been there a couple of times before with Boots. We usually like to sit at the bar and chat with Chris, the bartender. In the past it has been nicely busy, but not packed. It had been warm weather the other times we visited and 50% of the patrons had been sitting outside, but this time, obviously, everyone was packed inside. Remember last blog I noted that The Library in Dinky Town is a U of M “meat market” (meet market?), well this is the same thing, only for Yuppies. I think it may have usurped Chammp’s or Redstone for the Yuppie hook-up zone. Cooper is one of many Irish themed restaurant/bars around the area. Many of the fixtures were actually imported from an old pub in Ireland. But, the nice thing about Cooper, is the place doesn’t try so hard to capitalize on the whole “Irish thing”. The food at Cooper is quite good, but it’s hard to disappoint me in the food area. I pretty much like everything. I ordered the Irish smoked salmon (lox) and it was really refreshing. I haven’t eaten anything that healthy for awhile. Boots was in the mood for a desert, so I talked her into trying the bread pudding. Primarily because it is a classic British treat. We shared it and I was not disappointed. I would have preferred that they had served it with clotted cream instead of vanilla ice cream, but this is Minnesota and something like clotted cream may be too scary for most folks here.

There were far too many women that appeared to care more about what labels were adorning their bodies and whether it was “this season” or not. And, frankly the men who pursue those gold-diggers are of no interest to me either, so Boots and I went next door to Toby Keith’s. It was also quite busy and a different crowd there; more my type, but still not quite. I don’t think I need to describe the bar. Close your eyes for a moment and imagine it. Yeah…there, you nailed it. We only had time for one drink there before my movie was to start. So, we had our one drink and parted company.

After the movie was over, I remembered why it was that I have never been to a movie alone. There were primarily couples on dates and pairs or groups of friends navigating their way through the extensive theater. I felt like everyone was looking at me because I was ALONE; on a Friday night no less. Whatev! I  had a free pass, people! I probably won’t do it again unless there’s a movie, like a 3D one that I “must see” in a theater and I absolutely can’t find anyone else to go with me. That’s rare though. There’s usually someone.

This is where that experience that brought me back to that cruelty idea comes in. You know how children can be cruel because they tend to act on base instinct. We teach them not to be that way, but truly, they don’t change, they just learn to mask those base instincts. We’re trained it’s not socially acceptable to push down that kid that has something we want and take it from him, or tease a child that’s different than us. But, adults still do it, only it’s done subtly and obtusely; sometimes over a long period of time. Adults don’t push others down physically, they use other means. They find your weakness and use it against you. And, “why would someone do this?” you may be asking. Well, because you’re a threat to them in some way and usually it’s because you bring the weakness they have to the forefront without even trying. You hold a mirror up to them and they don’t like what they see, so they want to smash, not just the mirror, but you with it.

But, this is not new stuff. This is Freud’s id/ego relationship from Psychology 101. I’m just finding it fascinating that I see this so plainly when I go out. Alcohol does break our inhibitions. When drunk, we can act like kids on the playground again, or something else…. For instance, I am alone when I get off the elevator in the parking ramp after the movie. Two young men, clearly heading up to Toby Keith’s or Cooper to chase some tail, so rudely would not wait for me to exit the elevator before trying to push their way in; probably an overall aggressive attitude that also prevails in their mating habits. (It is common courtesy to wait for a person to exit an elevator before getting on. What is with young men these days, they seem to have no manners? And, this elevator disetiquette is one of my biggest pet-peeves, since I ride a lot of elevators.) Anyway, being annoyed by their rudeness, I pretended they did not exist and pushed past them as they were barging onto the car. The shorter of the two (who clearly had a Napoleon Complex) loudly exclaimed, “Sorry Lady!” in a facetious tone. I continued to ignore them as I heard their snickering behind me. I couldn’t hear what they were saying, but I knew they were making fun of me in some way. For a little while, the sensitive side of me felt a little hurt that a couple of young men dissed me. I felt insecure with myself. I felt old. In my drive home, I started thinking about their behavior and I realized it was just because their egos had been damaged. An attractive woman, who was alone and clearly confident, snubbed them. And quite honestly, I admit that was a little bitchy. So, they lashed out. You see, I was a THREAT to their egos.

It started me thinking about the gorilla clans and how if you really want to understand human nature at it’s most basic, you observe gorilla life for a while. If a female gorilla isn’t able to have children she will get chased out of the clan, unless she adopts the role of babysitter. Then she’s acceptable. It’s true in human life too. I see myself and some of my other single, independent girlfriends being constantly judged by married-with-children people and I realize it’s because our free-spirited nature is a THREAT to their way of thinking. You know…that a woman can be unmarried without kids and be blissfully happy. Married people don’t want their eyes opened to this. Let me clarify, I don’t include my married FRIENDS in that group. They know me and accept that I’m a free spirit. I mean people who don’t know me well throw out that judgment “Oh you’re not married, no children…poor you.” Uhh uhh sister. We agree to disagree on that. (Especially when, at this moment, I can hear the child of the people next door screaming from here. Can I get an Amen?) This is the one social norm I chose to rebel against. I choose to teach others that, alone is not lonely and there is no such status as single, but rather “FREE”.

I love men and need them for obvious reasons, but the key here is that I love MEN, plural. I believe that variety is the spice of life. I get bored easily, so I’m always trying to mix it up by experiencing new places, food, music and people, especially new men. My life is good. I’m not going to lie, I get lonely, but it’s a small price to pay for freedom. In a gorilla clan, the non-productive females are chased out, because they can’t be dominated. They can’t be made docile by being saddled with the responsibility of a baby on their back. Those young guys on the elevator were acting like gorillas trying to chase away a non-compliant female. I had to laugh when I thought of it that way. I always hear that men like confident women, but I think that’s a lie. The truth is men enjoy dominating confident women. I don’t mean that in a bad way. It’s just their competitive nature and confident women pose more of a challenge, that’s all.

Yes, I realize this posting was more personal than previous ones. They won’t all be like that, I promise. I guess I’m just going through some things that make me more sensitive to what makes people tick. I felt I needed to share and if anyone cares to weigh in, please do. For the future, I will continue to tick off the bars needing my attention and reporting back. Maybe I’ll put some personal, introspective shit in there, maybe I’ll keep it to myself; but, until next time…bottoms up!

The Library and Kitty Kat Klub, Dinky Town Thursday, March 3, 2011

Well, I didn’t have a chance, a couple weeks ago to keep up with my bar-flying.  In-between getting my taxes and my hair done, and any other errands, I just never made it out. BUT, I made up for it this last week by doing a little bar-hopping in Dinky Town.

My friend, Boots is friends with the guitar player for The Dead Horses. They are the supporting band for Ryan Bingham and for those of you who don’t know who that is, he won the Academy Award for best song last year for the song he wrote for “Crazy Heart”. Ryan is a Texas, country, blues, folk singer whose voice is like gravel, such that he sounds like he’d look old and leathery and beat up, like he’d been run over by a pick-up, a tractor and then a semi. However, he looks more like Jesus, you know, the good looking, young Jesus.

Being friends with the guitar player, Boots was “on the list” for Bingham’s show at the Varsity Theater; therefore, so was I. That was pretty cool. I’ve never been “on the list” for anything before. But even cooler, was the show. They blew the roof off. Really great energy and the crowd was so into it. I was not familiar with his music, other than a couple of songs, but I am a convert now.

We were invited to the after-party as well, but had to wait around until they packed up their gear, so we headed over to the bar across the street, The Library. This bar was packed “tits to elbows”, as I always say. Clearly, this was one of the U of M’s primary “meat markets”. There were so many, beautiful young people trying so hard to hook up, it was dizzying. I can’t even tell you what the décor is. It was so crowded, you couldn’t see anything. But, in that type of place, who notices the décor anyway. We were with Boots’ brother and a couple other mutual friends of Boots and the band. We had a drink and did some shots together and realized we were all really out of place, so we moved along.

The after-party was at the Kitty Kat Klub. I’ve been to the Kitty Kat Klub before and I’ve always liked it. It is a complete 180 from The Library. Where The Library is the place you only go primarily to hook up, the Kitty Kat Club is the place you go with a select group of friends to hang out together and chat amongst yourselves while watching a new up-and-coming band. The décor reminds me of Monica and Rachel’s apartment in “Friends”. More like a café with comfy antique furniture placed around in social groupings, than a bar. It is multi leveled and each little area is like a living room in itself. Oh, and the bathroom, a must visit. What is with the kooky bathrooms in Dinky Town?

We sat at the bar and chatted with Ryan Bingham and the Dead Horses. There was a band still playing at the club. The bass player of this band (didn’t catch the name) was a very large older man wearing farmer’s bib-overalls; you know, the ones with the stripes? He was seriously rocking out. I slapped Ryan Bingham’s arm to get his attention and pointed to this rockin’ hill Billy. “There you go, in case you ever need to consider a new bass player.” He laughed, “I know.” he squeeled under his breath, “he’s awesome.” Ryan’s a really great guy. And, so are the rest of the guys in his band. It’s just shocking to me, and also refreshing, that guys in a band that is traveling everywhere and working so hard, are still so down-to Earth, good people. That was the last thing I remember. Sorry readers. Too much alcohol on not enough food went to my head too fast. After being walked to my car, I made it home safe. Not sure how. I really can’t do that anymore. It’s just not right. Didn’t feel good the next day and was really suffering at work, but IT WAS SO WORTH IT!

Also, Sorry no pictures…L I was having way too much fun to take any.