Ike's- Down-town Minneapolis- Tuesday, April 19, 2011

In case you hadn’t noticed, I’ve been conspicuously absent from my blog for the last month. I had some experiences with alcohol that made me feel like I should really dial it back a bit. The week after my last blog, I tried to go to Travail. Travail is not a bar. It is a restaurant with a beer and wine bar in it. But, I knew from having eaten there, the servers are gregarious and given the place’s recent popularity, I thought it’d be an interesting experience to see what transpired as I hung at their little bar. Well, I got there at 6:00 and it was already packed full. There was only one seat at the bar. When I asked the lady standing next to it if it was taken, she said she was holding it for a friend. He arrived as she was explaining this to me. I got shut out. No place for me to hang. I guess if I want to hang at Travail I’ll have to go on an off-night or get there super early (or super late). But, I think I could cross it off the list. It doesn’t have a full bar, so I think it doesn’t technically count. Well, because I got shut out there, I was trying to think of another place I could drive to. I just didn’t feel comfortable going into a place I hadn’t done research on. I started thinking about this whole going-it-alone deal and worried about someday meeting the WRONG person and ending up dead in a ditch somewhere. Instead I went home. I drank alone while watching a movie or three, then woke up at sometime around 3:00AM on the bathroom floor. Had no clue how I got there. I don’t need to tell you the rest. Needless to say, I didn’t feel too hot the next day. That really scared me. I was alone. What if I had cracked my head open on the toilet or bathtub or sink when I passed out. I know I had bruises the next day, so I hit something. If I had died in a pool of my own blood or vomit, and nobody had found me for many, many days until I started to stink. NOT COOL! (But then again, if I died in some sort of freakish accident like that, maybe my book would start selling. Heh heh.) What I’m saying is, I let things get out of hand and I realized it and now I’m responsible again. No really, I am. I realize I was feeling pressure to go out to places to find SOMETHING to write about for this blog. I had forgotten it was just a little experiment and I was doing it for myself. I did learn a lot actually and I feel completely comfortable hanging out by myself somewhere now, if I have to. BUT, I prefer to hang out with someone else, of course. I’m not saying this blog is done, but I already fell short of my own goal of drinking at a different place every week, so that’s shot to hell. I’ll still post experiences, hopefully interesting, but even if lame, they’ll go up here too.

For instance (is it safe to start a new paragraph like that?) I went to Ike’s on Tuesday, because I had an hour to kill before I had to get my hair done. Their Bloody Marys look devine and I had to try one. Meh! Not as good as they look, but not horrible either. And, they aren’t included on their super cheap happy hour list of drinks. Yeah, it was $10 for that one drink. That was the only drink I had. I also tried the seared Ahi appetizer. That was actually pretty good. While I was there, I notice there were a lot of dating couples. The type of couples that are brand-new. A young couple across the bar kept staring at me and as I catch them staring, they would quickly avert their eyes and talk amongst themselves like, “no, we weren’t just looking at you and wondering what you’re doing over there ALONE”. After about the third time I catch them staring, I almost laugh out loud, because an evil thought enters my mind. “I should go over there and say, ‘I’ve noticed you looking at me and I was wondering if you’d be down with a threesome?’” Bwuauhahaha! I’m guffawing in my mind. It would have been fun to see the look on their faces.

The bartender’s hands were super shakey. That seems to me it would be a detriment to a bartender’s ability to pour accurately. I don’t think he had Parkinson’s, I just got the impression that I made him really nervous, for some reason. Believe it or not, there was actually another girl there who was alone. No one came to join her and she had a drink or two and left. Yay! One of my independent, bar-hopping sisters! (Maybe I’m starting a movement.) But, she seemed kind of miffed, so I think she may have been stood up L. That sucks. I wish I could say it happens to all of us at one point or another, but it has actually never happened to me, and I’ve had many dates; MANY dates in my life time. I’m something of a chronic dater. I love that “getting to know you” phase and hate that “I know you too well.” stage. I’ve been lucky, I guess, that I’ve dated guys with enough character to NOT stand me up.

Overall, Ike’s has a fun, throw-back to speakeasy theme. I liked the little “pick-up pads” they had on the bar. Little pads of paper that you can write someone’s name and number on, also little convenient pencils to write with, both of which are rolling around in my purse right now. I intend to use them. BUT, it is kind of expensive. It is the kind of place you could take a date to impress her, but not the type of place I could get serious drinking done in. I guess I’ll stick to having my birthday lunches there.

Big Louie’s, Crystal, March 16, 2011

I’d been wanting to make Big Louie’s one of my visits, since I heard of their famous Karaoke nights.  I got a text from my friend Alyssa and I was out and about, so we made plans to meet up there. I know, I know…my blogs are supposed to be about me going to these places alone and what happens when I do, and the last few, I haven’t been alone. I’ll remedy that this week. I promise. I don’t get to hang with Alyssa often, and besides, any friend of mine is always welcome to join me.

Big Louie’s took over the former Jake’s Sports bar space off Broadway in Crystal. I used to go there a lot when I was much younger. They had pool tables downstairs and a Bloody Mary bar on Sunday’s. I think I don’t need to remind you about my affinity for Bloody Mary’s.  But seriously, I don’t think I’ve been there in ten years.

As I walked in, a group of middle-aged, overweight men ogled me and I heard one say, “There’s our winner.” Or, “There’s a winner.” I’m not sure which exactly. If it was, “There’s OUR winner.” then, I’m both flattered and yet disgusted, because, “what the hell were they talking about?” If it was, “There’s A winner.” then I’m not sure if I should feel offended. Was that facetious…a put-down? I’m just too sensitive I guess. I sat across the bar from the middle-aged boys-club and they continued to ogle me, but not one bothered to come over and talk to me. Soon, thank goodness, Alyssa joined me.

I was excited for this Karaoke that I’d heard touted, but according to the bartendress, that only happened on Sunday night. Sunday?! Who goes out for Karaoke on Sundays? Dissapointed!!!

It was dead, and according to the waitress, it was not usually so. She claimed that it was because St. Patrick’s Day was the next night and everyone was saving up their party energy for the wild, night out the next night. That sounds logical, I guess. There were a couple of Miller Highlife promo girls there. They were giving away t-shirts if you bought a Highlife, so I bought one and scored an awesome shirt. Alyssa doesn’t drink beer, so I bought her one, but drank it, so she could have a free t-shirt too. Now we can be twinsies.

After a while, the middle-aged boys-club broke up and left. Alyssa and I both needed to head home, but as we were leaving this guy stopped us and insisted on buying us drinks. I think his name was Matt. He was clearly more interested in Alyssa. As to be expected. She is a beautiful blond with a natural charisma that just attracts people like magnets. It was okay with me that he wasn’t interested in me. He was a nice looking, thirty something guy.  But, he didn’t send sparks flying for me. The problem was he had no game. I initially was impressed that he approached both of us, offered to buy us both drinks and started talking to both of us, but then turned his attention to my friend. That was a genius way to get into a two-woman scene. When he offered us a drink, Alyssa didn’t want one, but I said “SURE!”. Matt told her she had to try a vodka tonic. She said “no”. He ordered one for himself and insisted, “Just try it”. She tried it and said, “No, I don’t care for that.”. Okay…dude got shotdown three times in a row, and Alyssa remained uninterested. She couldn’t have been less open to advances, but he didn’t give up.  At first, it was somewhat amusing to watch a man trying so hard, but getting rejected. And then it just got sad. I got a free drink out of it anyway. The “consolation drink” I guess.

I began to lose my buzz and Matt's lame attempt to woo my friend became tiresome to witness after a little while. Matt went outside to have a smoke, so Alyssa and I attempted to make a dash. He must have been watching us, because he quickly walked back inside and yelled, “Hey, you guys leavin?” How do you respond to that? “No, we just forgot some things in our cars.” Obviously, we were leaving. I just kept walking, but Alyssa was at least polite enough to disengage. I just always feel so gross during that moment when you need to walk away from someone you’re not interested in and they’re trying to make you stay. They try to convince you and you have to make all these excuses as to why you have to go. “I have to get up early”, “I’m really tired”, “I have to wash my hair”.  You know, it’s just kinda sad when someone is making you feel like they’re a piece of gum that you’re trying to scrape off the bottom of your shoe. I usually take the direct route, the route most obvious, which is to walk away.

Wish I could say more about Big Louie’s. I wasn’t there long and there wasn’t much going on. It’s just your average, local watering hole for thirty plus people. Although, in the two-and-a-half hours we were there, I scored a free t-shirt and a free drink. Well, this coming week, I’m going to go it alone, for sure. We’ll see what happens next. Until then, bottoms up.

Cooper and Toby Keith's, West End, St. Louis Park/ Subtitle- Gorillaz in the Midst

Friday, March 11, 2011

Part of the purpose of doing this blog is to write some insights I have while observing humans interacting in social situations. Once, while going through a stressful week, I observed that it seemed like human beings are cruel to each other, as if it’s something they need to do. I almost posted a blog about it and decided to cut it. I didn’t want to lose my readers. An experience I had last night made me think about it again.  

I had one free pass to the movie Battle: Los Angeles, and I’ve never been to a movie alone before, so decided that experience could be an addendum to this blog. I planned to go to Cooper in the West End St. Louis Park and drink alone until the movie started and see what type of people I could meet there. Boots needed a steam blow-off session, so she joined me. Or actually, she was already there when I got there. There was a nice looking older man in my seat when I arrived, but he relinquished the seat for me. You see, there is a MAN, and he knows MAN-NERS. So, I started talking to him and his name was Jeff. He was a product development manager for a tech components company. I told him about my job and I could see his eyes glaze over when he started to realize that what I do is higher-level than he’ll ever reach. Ooops! Did I say too much? Yes, but intentionally. I had read recently that a man will not be interested in a woman who makes more money than him or has a higher-powered job. If he is interested, then it’s not for right reasons; because, it’s emasculating to a man if his woman wears the pants. In fact, men who make less than their significant others are more likely to cheat. Jeff lost interest, needless to say. Sorry, Jeff. Perhaps that was mean of me to use you as a Guinea pig to prove a point.

I would be remiss if I didn’t mention the bar and what was going on there. I’ve been there a couple of times before with Boots. We usually like to sit at the bar and chat with Chris, the bartender. In the past it has been nicely busy, but not packed. It had been warm weather the other times we visited and 50% of the patrons had been sitting outside, but this time, obviously, everyone was packed inside. Remember last blog I noted that The Library in Dinky Town is a U of M “meat market” (meet market?), well this is the same thing, only for Yuppies. I think it may have usurped Chammp’s or Redstone for the Yuppie hook-up zone. Cooper is one of many Irish themed restaurant/bars around the area. Many of the fixtures were actually imported from an old pub in Ireland. But, the nice thing about Cooper, is the place doesn’t try so hard to capitalize on the whole “Irish thing”. The food at Cooper is quite good, but it’s hard to disappoint me in the food area. I pretty much like everything. I ordered the Irish smoked salmon (lox) and it was really refreshing. I haven’t eaten anything that healthy for awhile. Boots was in the mood for a desert, so I talked her into trying the bread pudding. Primarily because it is a classic British treat. We shared it and I was not disappointed. I would have preferred that they had served it with clotted cream instead of vanilla ice cream, but this is Minnesota and something like clotted cream may be too scary for most folks here.

There were far too many women that appeared to care more about what labels were adorning their bodies and whether it was “this season” or not. And, frankly the men who pursue those gold-diggers are of no interest to me either, so Boots and I went next door to Toby Keith’s. It was also quite busy and a different crowd there; more my type, but still not quite. I don’t think I need to describe the bar. Close your eyes for a moment and imagine it. Yeah…there, you nailed it. We only had time for one drink there before my movie was to start. So, we had our one drink and parted company.

After the movie was over, I remembered why it was that I have never been to a movie alone. There were primarily couples on dates and pairs or groups of friends navigating their way through the extensive theater. I felt like everyone was looking at me because I was ALONE; on a Friday night no less. Whatev! I  had a free pass, people! I probably won’t do it again unless there’s a movie, like a 3D one that I “must see” in a theater and I absolutely can’t find anyone else to go with me. That’s rare though. There’s usually someone.

This is where that experience that brought me back to that cruelty idea comes in. You know how children can be cruel because they tend to act on base instinct. We teach them not to be that way, but truly, they don’t change, they just learn to mask those base instincts. We’re trained it’s not socially acceptable to push down that kid that has something we want and take it from him, or tease a child that’s different than us. But, adults still do it, only it’s done subtly and obtusely; sometimes over a long period of time. Adults don’t push others down physically, they use other means. They find your weakness and use it against you. And, “why would someone do this?” you may be asking. Well, because you’re a threat to them in some way and usually it’s because you bring the weakness they have to the forefront without even trying. You hold a mirror up to them and they don’t like what they see, so they want to smash, not just the mirror, but you with it.

But, this is not new stuff. This is Freud’s id/ego relationship from Psychology 101. I’m just finding it fascinating that I see this so plainly when I go out. Alcohol does break our inhibitions. When drunk, we can act like kids on the playground again, or something else…. For instance, I am alone when I get off the elevator in the parking ramp after the movie. Two young men, clearly heading up to Toby Keith’s or Cooper to chase some tail, so rudely would not wait for me to exit the elevator before trying to push their way in; probably an overall aggressive attitude that also prevails in their mating habits. (It is common courtesy to wait for a person to exit an elevator before getting on. What is with young men these days, they seem to have no manners? And, this elevator disetiquette is one of my biggest pet-peeves, since I ride a lot of elevators.) Anyway, being annoyed by their rudeness, I pretended they did not exist and pushed past them as they were barging onto the car. The shorter of the two (who clearly had a Napoleon Complex) loudly exclaimed, “Sorry Lady!” in a facetious tone. I continued to ignore them as I heard their snickering behind me. I couldn’t hear what they were saying, but I knew they were making fun of me in some way. For a little while, the sensitive side of me felt a little hurt that a couple of young men dissed me. I felt insecure with myself. I felt old. In my drive home, I started thinking about their behavior and I realized it was just because their egos had been damaged. An attractive woman, who was alone and clearly confident, snubbed them. And quite honestly, I admit that was a little bitchy. So, they lashed out. You see, I was a THREAT to their egos.

It started me thinking about the gorilla clans and how if you really want to understand human nature at it’s most basic, you observe gorilla life for a while. If a female gorilla isn’t able to have children she will get chased out of the clan, unless she adopts the role of babysitter. Then she’s acceptable. It’s true in human life too. I see myself and some of my other single, independent girlfriends being constantly judged by married-with-children people and I realize it’s because our free-spirited nature is a THREAT to their way of thinking. You know…that a woman can be unmarried without kids and be blissfully happy. Married people don’t want their eyes opened to this. Let me clarify, I don’t include my married FRIENDS in that group. They know me and accept that I’m a free spirit. I mean people who don’t know me well throw out that judgment “Oh you’re not married, no children…poor you.” Uhh uhh sister. We agree to disagree on that. (Especially when, at this moment, I can hear the child of the people next door screaming from here. Can I get an Amen?) This is the one social norm I chose to rebel against. I choose to teach others that, alone is not lonely and there is no such status as single, but rather “FREE”.

I love men and need them for obvious reasons, but the key here is that I love MEN, plural. I believe that variety is the spice of life. I get bored easily, so I’m always trying to mix it up by experiencing new places, food, music and people, especially new men. My life is good. I’m not going to lie, I get lonely, but it’s a small price to pay for freedom. In a gorilla clan, the non-productive females are chased out, because they can’t be dominated. They can’t be made docile by being saddled with the responsibility of a baby on their back. Those young guys on the elevator were acting like gorillas trying to chase away a non-compliant female. I had to laugh when I thought of it that way. I always hear that men like confident women, but I think that’s a lie. The truth is men enjoy dominating confident women. I don’t mean that in a bad way. It’s just their competitive nature and confident women pose more of a challenge, that’s all.

Yes, I realize this posting was more personal than previous ones. They won’t all be like that, I promise. I guess I’m just going through some things that make me more sensitive to what makes people tick. I felt I needed to share and if anyone cares to weigh in, please do. For the future, I will continue to tick off the bars needing my attention and reporting back. Maybe I’ll put some personal, introspective shit in there, maybe I’ll keep it to myself; but, until next time…bottoms up!

The Library and Kitty Kat Klub, Dinky Town Thursday, March 3, 2011

Well, I didn’t have a chance, a couple weeks ago to keep up with my bar-flying.  In-between getting my taxes and my hair done, and any other errands, I just never made it out. BUT, I made up for it this last week by doing a little bar-hopping in Dinky Town.

My friend, Boots is friends with the guitar player for The Dead Horses. They are the supporting band for Ryan Bingham and for those of you who don’t know who that is, he won the Academy Award for best song last year for the song he wrote for “Crazy Heart”. Ryan is a Texas, country, blues, folk singer whose voice is like gravel, such that he sounds like he’d look old and leathery and beat up, like he’d been run over by a pick-up, a tractor and then a semi. However, he looks more like Jesus, you know, the good looking, young Jesus.

Being friends with the guitar player, Boots was “on the list” for Bingham’s show at the Varsity Theater; therefore, so was I. That was pretty cool. I’ve never been “on the list” for anything before. But even cooler, was the show. They blew the roof off. Really great energy and the crowd was so into it. I was not familiar with his music, other than a couple of songs, but I am a convert now.

We were invited to the after-party as well, but had to wait around until they packed up their gear, so we headed over to the bar across the street, The Library. This bar was packed “tits to elbows”, as I always say. Clearly, this was one of the U of M’s primary “meat markets”. There were so many, beautiful young people trying so hard to hook up, it was dizzying. I can’t even tell you what the décor is. It was so crowded, you couldn’t see anything. But, in that type of place, who notices the décor anyway. We were with Boots’ brother and a couple other mutual friends of Boots and the band. We had a drink and did some shots together and realized we were all really out of place, so we moved along.

The after-party was at the Kitty Kat Klub. I’ve been to the Kitty Kat Klub before and I’ve always liked it. It is a complete 180 from The Library. Where The Library is the place you only go primarily to hook up, the Kitty Kat Club is the place you go with a select group of friends to hang out together and chat amongst yourselves while watching a new up-and-coming band. The décor reminds me of Monica and Rachel’s apartment in “Friends”. More like a café with comfy antique furniture placed around in social groupings, than a bar. It is multi leveled and each little area is like a living room in itself. Oh, and the bathroom, a must visit. What is with the kooky bathrooms in Dinky Town?

We sat at the bar and chatted with Ryan Bingham and the Dead Horses. There was a band still playing at the club. The bass player of this band (didn’t catch the name) was a very large older man wearing farmer’s bib-overalls; you know, the ones with the stripes? He was seriously rocking out. I slapped Ryan Bingham’s arm to get his attention and pointed to this rockin’ hill Billy. “There you go, in case you ever need to consider a new bass player.” He laughed, “I know.” he squeeled under his breath, “he’s awesome.” Ryan’s a really great guy. And, so are the rest of the guys in his band. It’s just shocking to me, and also refreshing, that guys in a band that is traveling everywhere and working so hard, are still so down-to Earth, good people. That was the last thing I remember. Sorry readers. Too much alcohol on not enough food went to my head too fast. After being walked to my car, I made it home safe. Not sure how. I really can’t do that anymore. It’s just not right. Didn’t feel good the next day and was really suffering at work, but IT WAS SO WORTH IT!

Also, Sorry no pictures…L I was having way too much fun to take any.

Cause Sound Bar- Uptown, Minneapolis

Friday, February 18^th

So far, I haven’t been disappointed by any of the places I’ve been. Even dive-bars have their “atmosphere” in the “characters” that regularly hang there. But, atmosphere was something very deficient in this place. In fact, there seemed to be a massive black hole of negativity in this place.

I met my friend, “boots” there for “happy hour”. Or in this case, more like unhappy hour. I was disappointed that even though she got there at 4:00, she wasn’t able to get a couple places at the small bar.  The black-clad young men occupying the seats at the bar, well…I wonder if they ever leave. They were all there when I arrived and still all there when I left hours later. I felt like I had stumbled into the place where Emos go when they are old enough to drink. I realized there was no loss in not being able to sit at the bar, as none of them were connecting with anyone else around them. To illustrate, at one point, one of the guys sitting at the bar suddenly seemed to come to life and held up a detailed drawing, over which he had his head down, diligently scribbling away, rather than working on communication skills. It was a neat drawing; surrealistic, exactly like the work being churned out by up-and-coming artists in New York and LA.  

The art displayed all over on a consignment basis, was pretty neat to look at, but that was about all there was interesting in the bar. There was a stage set up for someone to play. It was supposed to be a “sound bar”, after all, but there was no musician or band there when I was there.  It was kind of a weird configuration for the lay out. There were two sections because the bar sprawled out between two buildings. The side where the bar and stage wasn’t, was just a section for extra seating, but it would have made more sense to put either the bar or the stage over on that side, so you get interest points on both sides to draw people, but they jammed all the interest into one small space and basically condemned anyone not getting there early enough to get a seat in the main bar, to the “back alley” basically. The place was visually so uninterestig, that I didn't even bother taking pictures.

The bathrooms were interesting …bring a Sharpie if you go, because you might want to weigh in on some of the topics brought up on the toilet partitions.

There were a few other people around the bar who, like us, were probably just in the mood for something different. They looked as out of place as we did. They didn’t look out of place for Uptown, just for that bar.  There were a couple of fat girls. I consider myself slightly “candy coated” and I hate to use to use the word "fat", so maybe it would be better to say they were roly-poly.  AND, they were wearing dresses that showed off every curve. I have to hand it to them, they were feeling sexy though.

The food was just “okay”, nothing to blog about, but the service was good. Our waitress was attentive and pleasant.

I was really hoping for more here. I’ve been hoping for more interesting things to happen during my sojourns, so my blogs would spice up a bit. But, this was very disappointing, especially for a Friday. I’m not going to say don’t go there, it’s all individual preference. After all, you may like fat girls or tortured, artsy Emo dudes, and if so, this is the place for you.

Whisky Park, Downtown Minneapolis, February 9th, 2011

Whiskey Park opened in October, in the old Lodge location on 5th Street just across from the Lumber Exchange Building. I’d been meaning to go there and check it out for some time, and just have never gotten around to it. Last night, after work, I had some time to kill, so I decided to make it my bar of the week.

The owners also own the Lyndale Tap in Uptown and this is an attempt to cash in on the recent popularity of country bars. Not a lot of effort was put into decoration, but I appreciated the row of paintings of various country icons such as Willie Nelson and Johnny Cash, flipping the bird. However, I’m guessing, when it’s busy, the décor is the last thing people are looking at. Wednesday is the first day of the week the bar is open and it’s usually the slowest day of the week, according to the bartender, Anthony. It was even slower than usual last night; probably because of the sub-zero temps. I mean, who really wants to wander out in this weather? But, there were still a few young, urban professional types in pairs or groups around the bar proper.  It was a little awkward, but it is actually a rather vast bar and it would have seemed a bit odd if I had sidled right up to the only two guys that were sitting there when I first arrived; therefore, I opted for a perch where I could get some good pictures and eye up whomever entered.

Luckily, Anthony is a professional bartender who understood the art of schmoozing. He had worked at Sneaky Pete’s and Barrio previously and even has “groupies”. He was the primary, full-time bartender there. So, although there was no possibility of me interacting with the other people, who were involved in their own quiet conversations, he and I got on quite well. He managed to get everyone sitting at the bar involved in various conversations, and that is what a good bartender does. Just like at the St. Petersburg, which I spoke of two blogs ago. The shared topics of discussion were how ugly Cameron Diaz is in person and whose bathrooms are more disgusting, men’s or women’s. He insisted women were grosser in the public bathroom area.

Speaking of bathrooms, one had to travel down a dark, winding hallway to get there. It felt like a funhouse hallway and I was sure some bad-guy was going to jump out and grab me at some point. I mentioned to Anthony that the owners should have fun with that and make it up like a funhouse. That would be especially great for really drunk people. The bathrooms themselves didn’t look like they’d been remodeled from when the bar was The Lodge, but there were nice new “touchless” soap dispensers, faucets and towel dispensers. In a bar bathroom, there’s nothing better than not having to touch things.

Whisky Park has great specials. Happy hour runs from 4:00 to 7:00, which is better than the typical 3-6 HH. Then there’s another late happy hour too. Thursdays, from 8:00 to 10:00, ladies drink free (I think). When I was there, it was 2 for 1, and that wasn’t just for tap or rail drinks. That included whatever you wanted, as long as they had it. They had all the usual popular beers, but no PBR (WHAT?). Is that not cool anymore? I was really in the mood for a cold PBR, and despite their numerous choices they didn’t have anything I wanted, so I ordered the usual (Jim Beam/sour).

Apparently they have a countryish type band that plays once a month, but seriously, the bar could cash in on the recent grass-roots, country, folk music insurgence that’s popped up lately. They also apparently have a mechanical bull, but alas… no Karaoke. (WHAT?)

Their menu was the usual bar-type food; wings, nachos, pizzas. Anthony knew the preparation of the food and described it well enough to make me curious enough to try something different, but when I saw that they had dry-rub wings, I had to try them. They were actually pretty good. Some people across the bar ordered the nachos. As you would expect, a plate piled high with heaven.  

In closing, I would go back, if only to chat with Anthony. I’m sure one would need to go there on a Friday or Saturday night to get the feel for the REAL Whiskey Park atmosphere, but I’m not sure I really care to be around the type of people that hang out there on Friday and Saturday nights. Instead, I might just make that chair my usual Wednesday perch.

I think I’ve sort of neglected Uptown so far in my blogs, so next week, I’ll be reporting from somewhere in the UT. ‘Till then…bottoms up.

David Fong’s in Bloomington

February 3, 2011- Chinese New Year:

Located in Bloomington, far enough south on Lyndale Avenue that it’s almost on the Minnesota River, this family owned restaurant has been around since 1958. It looks like it still has its original décor, which is exactly part of its charm. Where Psycho Suzie’s tries to look retro, this place truly is. It’s Kitschy, but genuinely so and I wish there were more places in the cities that were like it.

I probably wouldn’t have gone quite so far from my neck of the woods, but it was Chinese New Year and I always like to celebrate with some Chinese food, beer and preferably a kung fu movie and a game of Mah Jong. Having no Mah Jong partners for the evening, I decided to strike out for the benefit of my blog. I did some research on Chinese restaurants that also had bars. This seems to be a rarity, but Fong’s boasted of a “Lounge” and also other entertainment for the evening in celebration of the New Year. I was intrigued, so I was willing to go that far to check it out. This was a stretch for me, because I had never been there before, it was a long way from home, and I went alone and completely blind into the place. To begin, it was an adventure finding the place. I had no idea it was so far south. Driving along Lyndale, I was just about to give up and turn back, and then I saw it; the huge, landmark, neon sign.  

The parking lot was full and my social anxiety meter was just about on tilt. This was my first time going into a completely strange place, completely alone. As I entered the establishment it was clear that many others were there celebrating the New Year. The place was teaming with people waiting around for a table and I was worried that I might not find a seat at the bar. Luckily, there was one seat open by a young red-haired girl who looked really out of place amongst the middle-aged (and older) crowd. I was relieved that she was someone I would be able to talk to. She was a waitress there, but not on duty. She was just waiting for her family to arrive, because they were having dinner there. That explained why a young lady like her would be hanging out at a place like that. She abruptly abandoned her seat to go have a smoke. I got the feeling that she was annoyed that I was attempting to speak to her. I’m not sure why.  I think she might have thought I was hitting on her. I wasn’t…even if I was a lesbian; she wouldn’t have been my type. No, after her brothers arrived, I was considering hitting on them though, they were nice looking. But I digress…back to the subject.

This time I actually got a lot of pictures. I apologize for the quality. My I Phone takes blurry pix in low-light situations. I ordered a Tseng Tao and some pot-stickers. Also some Kung Pao Chicken (for later). The pot stickers were tasty, but nothing special. Pretty much tasted the same as every other pot sticker I’ve ever eaten. The red-head’s abandoned seat was soon occupied by a young African gentleman carrying a laptop bag. I don’t mean African-American, I mean African. He was from Nigeria, by way of Georgia Tech. He has a PhD in Chemical Physics (or something like that) and had just gotten a job with a global chemical company (won’t mention the company) as a chemical engineer. He said it was his job to figure out how to make membranes that filter dirty water. His name was something African that I can’t pronounce, but it sounded like Coyote, so I just referred to him as Dr. Coyote.

Poor Dr. Coyote. The bartenders were so busy by the time the good Dr. arrived, that he could not get their attention. Finally one of the bartenders asked me if I needed anything else, and I said, “Yes, for you to take this guy’s order. He’s been trying to get your attention for the last 15 minutes.” I could see the bartenders were extremely busy filling drink orders for the tables, but it would have been nice for them to at least tell the guy “I’ll come back for your order as soon as I finish this drink order.” Or at least have acknowledged him in some way. But, they just acted like he wasn’t there. It was rude. I can also understand, from a server’s perspective that, when it’s really busy like that, it might be rude of a customer to order food at the bar when they have a ton of drink orders to fill. However, I did ask if it was okay for me to eat at the bar before I ordered, and they told me it was fine. Dr. Coyote ordered some sort of beef dish, but only ate half and sent it back. He said it just didn’t taste right. He ordered another dish and proceeded to eat that as well. He made no comment about that, at least not before I left.

At one point, I had to use the ladies room and while finding my way there, I noticed there was quite an extensive bar on the other side of the bar where I was sitting. That must have been the “lounge” the website boasted of. I was a little upset that I hadn’t seen it before, or I would’ve sat there instead, but the patrons on that side looked a little more raucous than the crowd on my side and so I decided I was planted in the right place.

Around 7:00, the Fong family did the traditional Lion dance to ward off the evil spirits. Three generations followed behind the dancing gold lion, banging drums and cymbals. As the Lion was dancing by me, he stopped, looked right at me, fluttered his eyes and flapped his jaw. I hope that means he was bestowing me with “good luck”. I need some.

After my third Tseng Tao (I didn’t even have a buzz. Does anybody know if that beer is 3.2?) I paid my tab, wished Dr. Coyote luck at his new job and with developing tolerance to our Minnesota winters and headed out. As I was leaving, the Fong family, four generations this time, were milling around the hostess area. You could see that it was a really special time for them, like they just really enjoyed doing what they do, and doing it together. It was actually very touching. I wanted to take a picture, but thought it’d be rude of me to take a picture of their family moment.

I was going to save my Kung Pao chicken for lunch today, but I was curious to try it, so when I got home, I dug in. Yes, like Dr. Coyote said, there was just something not right about it. I think the chicken may have actually been turkey. I’m not even going to try to describe the rest. As far as Chinese food is concerned, I’ll stick to the Tea House, but Fong’s was a fun experience. I’m sort of proud of myself. This was a big stride towards knocking down some of my walls. You just never know who you’re going to meet, until you’re forced to speak to the person sitting next to you. I’ve got many more places and people to discover. Until my next blog…bottoms up!